i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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