I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
