we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
