yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize