when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
The air taste purple.
Randomize