just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
