Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize