he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
