remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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