Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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