my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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