I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
