I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
