love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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