Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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