a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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