Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
