i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
