All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
