I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
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Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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