I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
