it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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