no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize