Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
this boner is exhausting
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
