Fuck appropriateness.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
