i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I wear drunk well.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
