Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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