Nicole vs. Life
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
