the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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