haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
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