I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
