i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize