i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
