porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
