i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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