look no pants
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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