I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
