If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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