I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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