You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
