why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
