well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
