he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
