who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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