The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
