I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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