Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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