Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
