That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
