I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
