Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
