You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Randomize