So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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