if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
