I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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