cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
