i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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