seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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