Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
