that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
