Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
