Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
