so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
