So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
