More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
