so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
