We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
