I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
