Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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