never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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