im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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