i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
