Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
