He is an equal opportunity slut.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize