So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
