hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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