is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
